What are the causes of infidelity in marriage and falling out of love?
I have discovered this rather common dilemma in younger couples, in their late or probably mid-twenties and early thirties, than in older ages.
It seems that in the younger ages there is more confusion about the real goals in life and what one really wants to achieve.
Tea Course in miracles He further says, “The temptation of the ego becomes extremely intense with this change of goals.”
Typically one reports falling in love and genuinely upset by this change.
He / she (and this is not simply a female problem!) Wants to “get back” those feelings.
This person has truly found a “loved one” who has awakened those dormant feelings and this individual again, “feels in love.”
They have decided not to “settle” for a less-than-ideal relationship, which naturally indicates feeling the loving sensations.
Here are some key points for these types of signs of an affair:
Falsely falling in love with another person is the standard:
The implication is that if it doesn’t happen, or if it goes away, something is wrong, with you, your spouse, or the marriage.
A great relationship first needs to unlearn a great deal.
Usually the person having an affair experiences a high degree of regret and quarrel, and is usually married to an “excellent” person and the desire to “find that loving feeling” seems selfish (which is) and immature. (which is).
Intuitively (and this individual usually has a lot of intuition and sensitivity) he knows at another level that he is not on the best path.
This individual generally needs drama and excitement:
Life quickly becomes a daytime drama and the emotional juice of the consequences of emotionally intense relationships reigns, rather than living life from the center of who you are.
Falling out of love usually occurs when attractors become distractors:
In a previous session I talked about free online material that shows more about the ‘woman men adore’ and why some women stay with a man forever and others don’t.
Her love of fun and spontaneity, which initially drew her to him, ends up being irresponsible.
The individual who “seeks love”:
In fact, he or she is looking for the right one, someone out there, to predict that he or she is OK. No, more than good, almost ideal.
This person needs to be told how wonderful they are:
The individual needs to think that another loves him, since there is a lack of inner strength and a strong identity.
The other becomes my world, due to the fact that I lack a world. Being “in love” is the panacea for my vacuum cleaner.
Sexual activity could, in fact, END the relationship or at least bring it to the point where the attractors end up being, again, the ‘distractors’.
Idealized images can be held together by long phone calls, gifts, love letters, emails, etc.
The struggle in moments of raising children, maintaining a career and starting, paying bills, etc., ends up being the focal point for the couple and for one of them to feel that they are falling out of love.
Here are some recommendations:
Be sure to be patient and take care of yourself if your spouse is dealing with this type of relationship.
Your spouse does not have the ability to do this for you (or anyone else) at this time.
Yes, you are him / her and the subject says less about you and much more about the emptiness within him / her.
It is time for you to better understand ‘you’.
(Note that I also suggest searching the web for more helpful material on topics like, ‘When a woman sees signs that she is no longer in love and is healing the broken relationship.’)
To success in life and in love!