Stupid Things People Say to Sound Smart – The “It’s All in Your Head” Edition

“It’s all in your head”

Something is not right. You are fighting. It’s not your fault. It’s right where you are right now.

Perhaps you are due to give a speech and are dealing with a primal, gut-wrenching fear.

Or maybe, it’s 4 am and you’re wide awake for the fifth night in a row because you overspent, didn’t tell your partner, and guilt is gnawing at you like a rat in a box.

Or it could just be old biochemistry punching you repeatedly in the face with no obvious end point.

At one time or another I have been a victim of all of the above and MANY MANY more. I am currently saying goodbye to a 6 month stretch of the last one. (However, it’s more of a see you soon.)

But never, at any time, (no matter how sincere or well-intentioned), has it ever been nice, comforting, or helpful in any way, shape, or form, to be told:

“It’s all in your head”

It is? Really? Wow, thanks for that. Okay then, just what… change my head, take it out, turn it off?

I mean, wow.

Of course it’s in my head. Where else would she be?

Everything is always happening in our heads (brains, minds, consciousness – choose your definition)

Sure, we live in an intersubjective world.

My actions affect yours and mine.

But we experience them alone, through our own filters, and instantly superimpose our own thoughts and biases on them. You’re doing it now, right?

MMM.

Yes.

That.

Watch!

And that’s why the #1 skill every copywriter should POSSESS is the ability to enter the conversation in the mind of a prospect.

Do you want it to sound cool and edgy? Call it mind control.

Do you want to know it for what it is? Call it common human decency.

Call it whatever you want.

The ability to break down barriers, bypass BS detectors, know what the other person is thinking, feeling and asking, at any given moment is what makes you stand out above all the buttoned up pollies and their sound bites, Mega Corps and their catchy jingles and an endless supply line of self-obsessed salesmen looking for money and selling their wares on social media.

Because here is a truth:

No one woke up today wanting to spend money on your product, be interrupted by your emails, and spend their finite time paying attention to you and your marketing pitch.

We have strong defenses. The man who says yes to everything will be broke before breakfast is finished.

Therefore, your ability to capture attention and generate sales is directly related to the empathy, security, recognition, belief, desire, and the deep and urgent sense of need that you can generate in your prospect.

You do this by hacking their internal monologue, confirming their worldview, or for advanced practitioners challenging them to change it.

And it works because…

Everyone’s favorite subject is themselves.

It’s like Dale Carnegie said in How to Win Friends and Influence People, and I’m heavily paraphrasing here:

“Do nothing but ask people about themselves and they’ll think you’re the most interesting person they’ve ever met.”

(Side note: this works almost 100% of the time, and is a fantastic tool for anyone who is socially anxious at a party. Just ask people about themselves, keep the conversation about them, and you’ll be the most exciting conversationalist and attractive. at the party until a mother flipper drops her pants”).

Back to that:

There are several tricks you can use to get into the conversation in your prospect’s mind, and they should be infused into almost every element of your copy, from the headline to the closing.