My Husband Is A Bad Boy – I Used To Love Him But Now He Drives Me Crazy

I find that as we get older, the things that initially attracted us to other people can sometimes change. For example, when I was younger, I valued money and material possessions in my friends and people I wanted to date. If a guy had a nice car, that scored a few more points with me. I didn’t consider that the guy’s father could have bought him that car and that he didn’t do anything to earn it. I never considered what this might have said about someone’s character. Today, I don’t care what kind of car someone drives. I am more concerned about your financial responsibility and your character.

The same can be true about bad guys. Many young women like them and pursue them. I think part of the reason for this is that young women are exposed to this as “cool” with movie and rock stars. As a result, they sometimes turn a blind eye to that geeky but sweet kid in his art class because of the guy in the leather jacket who doesn’t even show up for class. And it’s one thing to do this in high school and then put it behind you. But what if you marry a bad boy and he never grows up? Well, sometimes it requires honesty and adjustment.

A wife could tell a story like this. “When I met my husband, his hair was down his back and he rode a motorcycle. He was older than me, so he never went to my high school. We met when he walked into the restaurant where I worked. My parents didn’t like it.” From the beginning. They felt that he was very irresponsible, that he would never grow up and that he would never amount to anything. In a way, his concerns were justified. We ended up getting married because I got pregnant. Looking back now, I realize I was a little happy about the pregnancy because I knew this was probably the only way I was going to get her to marry me. He wasn’t the tied-up kind of guy. Today, his hair is shorter. , but still likes leather jackets and would still be what would be considered a bad boy Still smokes and occasionally drinks Takes nothing from anyone and rarely commits Works when he wants because he owns his own but is content with get ahead. He’s not a great communicator. I’d say he’s a better father than anyone thinks, but he’s not always the best husband. He’s not overly sweet except when he surprises me on rare occasions. He still has dangerous hobbies like racing his motorcycle He never wants to talk about finances, the future, or other things that would show responsibility Some of my co-workers have their houses paid for and are looking at second homes as an investment to increase their wealth. there. My husband would never do this. It took me years to convince him to buy instead of rent. He’s very much a fly by the seat of your pants type of person, whereas I see him acting like a child. Sometimes when I look at him and base it solely on his looks and our chemistry with him, my heart beats a little faster. And other times, when we discuss everyday tasks that adults have to think about, I feel nothing but frustration towards him. I’m starting to think that marrying a bad boy was a huge mistake. I’m starting to think that bad boys will never make good husbands.”

I understand where you come from. When she was in high school and college, she also loved bad boys. I think that’s common among some teenage girls. However, today I would not classify my husband as such. Or maybe I would classify it as refurbished. And I can tell you that no marriage or partnership is perfect, no matter what kind of personalities you were dealing with in high school. Even that geeky guy in art class I talked about earlier probably had the flaws of him. I can also tell you that the bad boy who used to drive me crazy in his muscle car now drives a mini van and is crazy about his kids and his wife (a woman I also went to school with). He still has an unconventional way of thinking at times, but he adores his family and would do anything for them. The point I’m trying to make is that I believe all people are capable of change when faced with adult responsibilities. I was much more superficial and indifferent when I was young. Today, I cringe at some of the things I said and did. Some of my past behavior shames me today. But I can’t change that. I can only try to be better today.

Similarly, I suspect that your husband has grown as a person in some areas. And I also suspect that, with a little work, she can change in other necessary areas if it would benefit her family to do so. The first step is to make him aware of the need to do so.

But before you do this, you need to prioritize what you want to change. If you just throw all your complaints at him, it sounds like you’re just criticizing. Maybe his smoking could be the first course of business because it endangers his future. If he gets sick from smoking, he may not be able to be as present to his children. Talk to him about the most important things first, one at a time, and tell him how much you love him and want him to be with you as long as possible. Tell him that you have the courage to say this because you want him to be around you for a long time.

Be careful not to attempt a full review of it. You don’t want to erase the edge that made you fall madly in love with him in the first place. You don’t want to change the core of who he is. She just wants him to make some of the compromises that adults and family men have to make.

However, to address one of the initial questions, it is my opinion that ex-bad boys can make good husbands, particularly those who are willing to adjust their habits for the benefit of their families. I’m not proud of all aspects of my former self, but most of my selfish behavior disappeared when I had to think about other people. I think this is true in many cases; you may need to draw their attention to this delicately.