From the School of Pain to the School of Vision
Many, many of us have struggled with some aspect of lack in our lives: lack of time, opportunities, food, well-being, quality relationships, education, money, friends, etc., etc. Whether we realize it or not, we have been using the pain of those “apparent” conditions as a very powerful teacher so that we can learn to know Oneness in God. Rather than allow Vision to drive us into an awareness of how beautiful, powerful, wonderful, and holy we are, we have chosen to be pulled into that awareness through pain, believing that we are separate from the Infinite Source of all. Exquisitely racked by the pain of not having enough love, time, money, and/or health, we have been forced to resort to one or more of the following humane solutions to our suffering:
o We create addictions to work, drugs, food, alcohol or sex to numb the pain; Prayed
o We live lives of silent despair, feeling that this condition should be the punishment we deserve for being such bad people, and hoping that by some miracle it will all go away; Prayed
o We drag ourselves through one more solution that we can impose that will “fix” the situation or improve it, such as changing jobs, trying one more health cure, divorcing our partner, etc.
Eventually, we will have exhausted any number of these methods and hit our wall. Feeling utterly defeated, we’ll know the template is finished when we can’t carry our accumulated baggage one step further. On all fours under the unbearable weight of our “master”, pain, we can only wave the white flag of the Truce and shout into the void “I surrender!” The end has finally come and we have no recourse but to “let go and let God”. What an overwhelming moment this is.
And what an enormously powerful time! Yes, powerful. For it is only when our ego minds have run out of workarounds, avoidance patterns and rationalizations that the Mind of our Hearts can open up to God’s Grace. Always there and waiting for our invitation, the Grace of God is truly the answer to our prayers and supplications. When we embrace the Grace of God, we are no longer forced to learn our life lessons at the mercy of pain, but are open to living life guided by Vision and Inspiration. As one of my mentors taught me at a critical juncture in my journey: “When you have nowhere to turn, you can learn.”
From the low road to the high road: my personal journey
I used to be a professional student at the School of Pain. For over 40 years I believed that I was a helpless victim of my life circumstances and lack of money. He was sure that he was being punished for sins untold as he struggled to “make it” in the world. Pain became the teacher of my chosen survival specialty: Finance. Convinced that he was incapable of solving the never-ending problem of too little salary and too many bills, I felt completely justified in blaming all kinds of scapegoats for my situation. I affirmed that he was a victim of the economy, of my marital status, of my sex, of my education, of my boss, of my God (who surely had abandoned me). I had the belief that the number of dollars in my checking account defined my self-worth.
You can imagine how low my self-esteem fell during the financial ebbs of my life, like the time the ATM wouldn’t allow a withdrawal because my balance had dropped below $20! I also believed that every dollar I received was hard earned and that my lot in life was never to have enough money. I just knew that life was meant to be a struggle, and then you died!
When I enrolled in the School of Pain, I finally hit a crash course that had life-changing effects on me. A few years ago I found myself at my precious daughter’s wedding celebration without a penny to pay for my expenses, let alone contribute to her special day. Having to tell her and her wonderful husband-to-be that I had to break my promise to contribute to her wedding day brought me to my knees. “Oh my gosh,” I thought, “could I get any lower than this?” The shame and guilt I felt over the previous debt I had incurred, the bankruptcy I had filed for seven years earlier, and the pleas I had made to my friends just to pay the rent paled in comparison to the utter hopelessness. and despair that I felt on this occasion. the happiest day of my daughter’s life.
Reduced to ashes, I cried oceans of tears in the early morning hours of the wedding day. “How did I get into this pathetic place?” I screamed from my inner being tormented by pain. I have worked very hard, raised three children as a single parent, and been a religious person. What did I do to deserve this? What am I missing? I spent the pre-dawn hours of that day immersing myself in my familiar self-blame and self-flagellation victim mode. At one point in this vicious downward spiral, in a space between the torrent of tears and wailing, I heard a soft voice say, “Be still.” Startled, I complied and stopped my sobs. “What are you thankful for right now?” the Voice asked quietly. “That I’m breathing”, is all I could answer. I felt the slightest measure of calm work its way through my shuddering body. “Will you hand over all your problems to me?” asked the Voice. “And will you trust Me?” she asked softly. “I don’t have a choice,” I sighed. “I have nowhere else to go. I’ve tried every way I know how to fix this endless financial mess. All I want to do now is enjoy being the mother of the bride,” I stated, feeling a little less hysterical. “Keep being thankful and watch the miracles unfold today. Turn it all over to me and enjoy yourself,” the Voice said. “When you are grateful, you open the door for My Abundance to flow into your life.”
On that fateful and extraordinary day I was summarily transferred from the School of Pain to the School of Vision. Little did I realize how easy it is to be accepted into this school and how welcoming it feels. I received so much support from others there that I never felt like “the new kid on the block.” And what a surprise it was to find everyone around me expressing their gratitude that I made the decision to join them.
Attending this school guarantees each student a degree in hearing with the inner ear the Divine Plan for one’s life. Here we are taught through inspiration, intuition, and imagination what our true purpose is. Here we learn to choose the right path to clarity. And here we hone the skills necessary to express that clarity. When we graduate from the School of Vision, we have recognized that the Universe is for us and that it really works for our highest good. The diploma we receive certifies that we know with God that everything is possible.
At the School of Vision my teachers have been many and my path has been one of joy and harmony, with few setbacks along the way. Through this new curriculum, I have learned that what I was getting in life was determined by what I was giving. While I was emitting fear and the belief that there was not enough, I was also receiving, with predictable precision, a life experience of fear and lack. I slowly realized that I was using the Law of Giving and Receiving — “As You Give, So Shall You Receive” — in ways that really kept the cycle of lack going in my life. The many in-depth classes I have taken at the School of Vision have taught me to “give” everything I want back, including money, laughter, healthy clothing, love, compassion, peace, and harmony. .
As you give, so shall you receive.
the happy ending
It was on a cloud of profound gratitude that I floated into the bridal dressing room on my daughter’s wedding day: gratitude for the bride, my lovesick son-to-be, my two ex-husbands who were tending to last-minute details, the bouquets of beautiful flowers and corsages that had just been delivered, and the flush of excitement on the faces of my other children. Everywhere I looked I said, “Thank you, God!” God’s floodgates opened, miracles poured out, and I received. A wise and generous sister slipped money into my hand to pay for my hotel room. “Thanks God!” An offer to buy my breakfast came from my beloved son across the table of 10. “Thank you, God!” I suddenly came up with an idea for the perfect gift for newlyweds that cost me my time and talent, but would be priceless to them. “Thanks God!” A request for my counseling services came from a guest in the crowd of friends and family at the front desk. “Thanks God!” And as I gave each prayer of Gratitude, I received even more from the One Infinite Source, God.
At the School of Vision, we are asked to “specialize” in 5 spiritual “Gifts” which, when fully practiced, will ensure our graduation with honors. “Gifts” is an acronym for these transformational principles: Gratitude. . . Intention . . . Forgiveness. . . tithe . Give up. Why these “Gifts” in particular? Because each one of these “Gifts” has been carefully “tested” for the power to change consciousness. Both ancient and modern mystics, regardless of their root tradition, have consistently referred to these five principles as essential disciplines in any spiritual practice. We have the power as spiritual beings to transmute the appearances of the conditions we see around us. In other words, we can use our inner eyes and listen with our inner ears and use those “senses” to see and hear beyond what our senses, our human being, give us to fully understand that we are beings of infinite possibilities, unlimited by any appearance to the contrary.
The transforming power of these “Gifts” is that they allow us to go beyond the impoverished realm of appearances, that is, the data delivered by our five senses, and connect with the vast true wealth of Life found in the realm of the invisible, the place of Pure Potential and Pure Possibility. For example, when we are in a state of Gratitude even in the face of a painful situation, we rise “out of the firing line” of that pain by choosing to broaden our focus to the greater good (God) that is there, along with what it is immediately apparent. This does not mean that we deny, minimize, or nullify the facts of our three-dimensional reality, but rather that we simultaneously affirm the greater Reality of which the three-dimensional is only a part.
It means that we have come home to the Mind of the Heart, the place where our intuitive wisdom resides, that “still small voice,” also referred to in the Bible as the Voice of God. Here, guided by authentic Wisdom and Divine Intelligence, we cannot help but realize our higher purpose and the reason we are here: to let God out! BEING the Abundant Divine Expression of God: “For this we have been called.”
Will you be enrolling in the School of Pain or the School of Vision this fall?