Frequently asked questions about extramarital affairs
On any given day, thousands of people around the world are involved in an extramarital affair. In fact, you may find that your own relationship is in the midst of an affair right now. Or maybe one of you is considering having an affair.
To the person having an affair or considering one, the idea of an affair may at first sound like an exciting alternative to business as usual in what has become an uneventful marriage. After all, the opportunity to be with someone totally new and exciting can be hard to pass up, especially if you’re unhappy with your current relationship.
To answer some common questions about affairs, here are frequently asked questions about extramarital affairs:
Q1: Is it illegal to have an affair if you are married?
HAS: In most of the Western world, you cannot go to jail or be fined for cheating on your spouse. Still, having an affair can have serious legal and personal consequences for you. For example, in many places, having an affair leading to divorce can lead to a greatly reduced set of rights for the person who cheated. In other words: if you cheat, you don’t have much support when it comes to lawyers fighting over who gets what possessions. The bottom line is that by being caught cheating, you give up many of his legal rights in the event of a divorce.
Q2: Is it safe to have an affair?
HAS: Having an affair can usually be a safe thing, if you don’t get caught and if you practice safe sex, that is. However, if you don’t practice safe sex or if you get caught cheating, your affair can be anything but safe. By having an affair you definitely expose yourself to some serious risks. These risks include: the spread of sexually transmitted diseases to you or your spouse, dealing with the wrath of a jealous lover (think “Fatal Attraction”), or dealing with the wrath of an abandoned spouse. Of course, being caught cheating can also lead to divorce, which can result in the loss of the company of your spouse, the loss of many of your material possessions, and even the loss of the right to live with your children. Ouch, doesn’t sound so sure now, does it?
Q3: How do I stop my adventure?
HAS: If you’re currently having an affair, you need to start by deciding what you really want out of life. Do you love your spouse, your lover, or neither? After all, your affair can be exciting at times. Or, maybe for you, just thinking about what you’re doing to your spouse is tearing you apart inside. Either way, you know you can’t keep your affair going forever. The sooner you face the facts and decide what your next step should be, the better it will be for everyone involved.
Q4: What do I do if my spouse has an affair?
HAS: Sooner or later, you will have to confront your spouse about the affair. But before you do that, think hard about how you want things to end. Do you want to stay with your spouse or quit? He decides how you want things to go before bringing it up. Another tip: when you confront your spouse, bring with you any irrefutable evidence you’ve found that proves the infidelity. Otherwise, if you simply accuse them of having an affair without proof, they will likely try to deny it, which of course will be an insult to both of you.
Q5: How can I prevent myself or my spouse from having an affair?
HAS: If your spouse has a wandering eye or you think they have their sights set on having an affair with someone else, the best remedy is to make yourself the center of their world again. Basically, it needs to be inserted there so that there is no room for anyone else. Do it in an assertive but loving way. Also, be tactful: If your spouse backs down at the sign that she wants to spend more time with him, it could be a sign that she’s not happy in the relationship.
If you or your spouse are currently involved in an affair or are considering one, it obviously means that your relationship is in trouble. While an affair may seem like a convenient short-term solution to your problems, the smartest bet is to find ways to repair your marriage and get back in a loving relationship.