Can Life Training solve the Communications equation?
We live in amazing times when it comes to technology. If Sam Houston had had Life Training and our technology, help would have arrived in time for the Alamo. A few quick emails to patriots across Texas, and Santa Anna would never have stood a chance. We can instantly communicate with millions of people around the world at the same time. That is really extraordinary.
But there’s a big difference between “making contact” and actually Communicating…isn’t there? The word “communicate” carries with it an idea of making sense and being understood.
Exchanging words does not necessarily mean Communicating. This is what I mean. Some people who were in car accidents have been asked to summarize exactly what happened on their insurance form. The following quotes are taken from those forms:
o I collided with a parked truck coming from the opposite direction. The guy was all over the road; I had to swerve several times before hitting it.
o I had been driving my car for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
o My car was legally parked when it backed into the other vehicle.
o The pedestrian had no idea which way to go, so I ran over him.
o The telephone pole was coming up fast. She was trying to push me out of her way when he hit me on the forehead.
And here are some announcements that were miscommunicated…
o A magnificent and economical restaurant. Good food served by expert waitresses in appetizing ways.
o Dinner Special-Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
o Now is your chance to get your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home too.
o We do not tear your clothes with machinery. We make it carefully by hand.
o We build bodies that last a lifetime. Offer expires December 31 or while supplies last.
o For sale at reduced prices-men’s shirts with minor damage.
Let’s discuss some basic “how to’s” of good communication and life coaching.
Good communication begins when a good relationship is established. Rapport is a mutual feeling of being in communication. Have you heard the expression “we were on the same wavelength?” That was the report.
Here are some basic elements in the process of good communication and Life Formation.
1. The speaker is like a radio transmitter. She is sending a message… it can be a verbal or non-verbal message.
2. The listener is like a radio receiver. They are getting the message.
3. The message is some kind of information. The goal of communication is to deliver this message.
4. Then there are the distractions that can make communication difficult. Distractions can cause misinterpretations. They can cause parts of the message not to arrive. Sometimes these distractions are our own preconceived notions or filters that cause us to misinterpret. They act like static. We don’t have a clear signal when there are distractions.
5. And finally, there must be an acknowledgment that the message was heard and a reply or feedback to the message to make sure it was received correctly.
Several years ago, Fred Rogers thought he was about to get his big break when a major network asked him to meet with him and discuss syndicating their local children’s show. One of the network executives asked, “What kind of costume will you wear for the show?” Mr. Rogers told the man that he didn’t need a funny costume to communicate with the children.
The people at the network disagreed, insisting that anyone hosting a children’s show must have a costume. So, the meeting ended and the network decided to pass on the opportunity. Obviously, it was a big mistake. PBS picked up the show and children’s television has never been the same.
He knew it wasn’t the suit that would Communicate. Was the! Here is another “ebyism”. People buy your music, not your words.” Although we need to seek excellence…we need to learn to speak as clearly and eloquently as we can…we need to know that communication goes much deeper. Life Training is all around us, just note and be aware.
I have read that 75% of people who buy an expensive item… buy it because they like it and trust the seller. Therefore, people want you to communicate with them truthfully on a verbal level… and to communicate with them sincerely on a non-verbal level. They want to know what your heart has to say. When we speak from our hearts… it will break through the “static”. It will amplify our signal. And it will not leave room for misinterpretations. Now that is Life Training and effective communication!