The L in love versus lust in lesbian relationships
I’m obsessed, crazy and infatuated right now! I can hardly think of how to put my clothes on the right way. I forget to eat and sleep is completely irrelevant when you are in my mind, devouring all my thoughts.
My stomach is knotted and I know I’ve checked my phone to see if her name is on the screen a thousand times in the last hour. Seconds feel like minutes and hours feel like slow death when I haven’t had contact with you.
You mention the name of another woman and the murderer in me comes out, wanting to wrap you in an invisible cloak so that no one will steal you. You’ve changed me, you’ve moved me to where all I want is to melt into you. I want to be part of you, feel every ounce of what drives me crazy.
When lust creeps into our soul, a whirlwind of sexual energy begins to build, often confusing its host and leaving a path of destruction that is soon forgotten. Some of my worst decisions and financial burdens come from lust in those initial months of a new relationship.
In my manic obsession, I have spent money that I did not have and I have entered a coma that lasted more hours than I have slept thinking about every curve of your body. I have lost myself in how his clothes fall when I separate them, in the taste of his lips against mine, in the smell of his skin, in the heat of his breath that makes my skin red and in how when I am naked against his body soften in it and want to lose myself forever.
What feeling? Completely overwhelming and addictive, people can drive us crazy and behave like caged animals, wanting to escape. But is it healthy? And is it love or lust?
It’s very easy to get the two confused, and we often don’t realize how much we’ve allowed our lives to become unmanageable due to our pretty distraction, so maybe a clarification would help! If we look at the breakdown of the emotional monster, lust tends to be selfish, domineering, self-centered, an intense sexual desire, a physical attraction, and we may even feel that our love drug is a cure for all our problems and unhappiness. .
When we lust, we put a lot aside to keep that passion suppressed within us. You’re not crazy if you’ve ever felt like you’re riding an endless roller coaster of mostly highs. You are producing a chemical called dopamine and it is in full bloom in our brain, it is a chemical that makes you feel good and has a lot to do with sleep and appetite, hence the reason why those two often see each other. affected.
Unfortunately, it is this madness that leads to pain; distraction takes our eyes off all the red flags and forgives the actions that we would lock up our best friends for allowing them to happen to them if the roles were reversed. Silly optimism leads us into situations that could be dangerous and life altering. But it feels so good!
I’m not trying to imply that we should avoid lust at all costs like a drug dealer on the street, but sometimes if you know something, you will think a little more and act a little slower. Although some may disagree, I believe that lust can turn into love, and sometimes if you’re lucky and with the right person, a wonderful, healthy love can develop.
A “perfect” love is where both of you are working to maintain passion and are involved in each other, not just immediate gratification (although I’m not giving up on the immediate gratification I get from ripping your clothes off and throwing you on the bed, I do. sorry to stay.)
This type of love is where they find their connected souls and are able to share and communicate differences as individuals and not as a maladaptive unit. There are no more expectations than respect and the need to grow to be a better person. The sexual act is not just a wish that must be fulfilled, but the art of expressing the tender warmth and passion that exists in your relationship. Expressing love should be through communication, compassion, intimacy, and loyalty.
You will know true love and not lust, when you are not only attracted to every move she makes like a beautiful dance, but also when you are emotionally and intellectually compatible. She can make you laugh, think and challenge you to grow in your own way and you respect her with the same love.
I feel hopeful so I leave you with that, good luck and be great explorers of love dear ones!
Alex Karydi ~ The Lesbian Guru