The Cialdini Effect – Influence, NLP and Persuasion
For those who don’t know Robert Cialdini Ph.D., he is the Regents Professor at Arizona State University.
His books, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion and Influence: Science and Practice, are the result of years of studying why people comply with requests in business settings. Together they have sold nearly half a million copies in nine languages and consistently rank in the top one percent of books sold on Amazon.com. In the field of influence and persuasion, Dr. Cialdini is the most cited social psychologist in the world today.
One of Cialdini’s principles is the Law of Reciprocity
When a person receives a gift, they usually feel compelled to reciprocate.
The law says that we must try to return in kind, what another person has provided us.
In this article I will show you that you have to use the Law of Reciprocity.
I was recently talking to a waitress at one of my favorite restaurants and we started talking about tips.
Tips are obviously very important to a waitress, and it was quite evident that some of the waitresses at this restaurant were tipped better than others. It reminded me of the study I read about a few years ago, so I suggested this strategy, which uses the law of reciprocity…
Sweeten the bill!
When a person receives a gift, they usually feel compelled to reciprocate.
David Strohmetz and his colleagues at Monmouth University tested this expectation in two studies.
The first study conducted in Ithaca, New York, found that giving fancy chocolates to customers increased tips by 15 to 18 percent of the bill.
The second study conducted in New Jersey found that gifts of assorted Hershey’s miniature chocolates also increased tips.
When no chocolate was given, the average tip is 19% of the bill.
However, the highest tips were received when the server gave diners one piece of chocolate per person and then spontaneously offered them a second piece per person. The average tip was then 23% of the bill.
I’m going out there for dinner next week, I’ll let you know how your tips go!
The power tip of persuasion skills
Obviously, not everyone is going to go around and give everyone they know a chocolate, but you can still use legal reciprocity.
Gifts do not have to be physical objects that are exchanged between people. Some of the most valuable gifts a person can give are intangible:
Information
Confidence
Cooperation
to listen
Affected
joy and attention
These are all valuable gifts…
Being the first gives you and allows you to start maintaining relationships.
According to Cialdini’s work, the rule of reciprocity applies, even if the recipient doesn’t like the person who gave the gift.
Most of us find it very unpleasant to be in a state of obligation. Nobody likes to feel in debt and we will gladly return the favor.
According to sociologists and anthropologists, the Law of Reciprocity is one of the most widespread and basic norms of human culture.
Reciprocal arrangements are vital in human social systems, for thousands of years we have been conditioned to feel uncomfortable when in debt.
This sense of future obligation makes possible the development of various kinds of relationships, transactions, and ongoing exchanges that are beneficial to society.
Reciprocity also applies to concessions.
One of the most effective ways to use the reciprocity rule is to start with an extreme request that is sure to be rejected, then you can profitably recover the too-small request. [the one that was desired all along] which is likely to be excepted because it appears to be a concession.
How to Amplify the Law of Reciprocity
If your initial favor is significant, personal, and unexpected, the recipient is much more likely to respond in kind/provide an even larger favor.
Time one of the greatest gifts of all.
I always make sure that with everyone I meet I let them know that my time is precious…
I’ll do someone a favor… This also initiates the law of scarcity, but you’ll have to wait until next time to learn more about how to use that powerful law…
To learn more about Cialdini’s work, I suggest you check out
“Influence: Science and Practice by Robert B. Cialdini
That is all for now