The art of the sensual touch
When you ask lesbian women why they prefer to sleep with women over men, you can get a variety of reasons, but one of them immediately stands out: women know how to touch a woman. Apparently most men don’t.
Early in my career, I decided to explore the subject and learn what women know that we don’t. I wanted to know everything about touch. Not just any touch, look at you, sensual touch. I have seen many instructional guides and videos on sensual massage over the years, and they all seemed somewhat inappropriate. They were very “massages”, and not very “sensual”.
It wasn’t until I attended a Tantra seminar, with a Russian teacher (A Russian? Teach tantra? Who would have thought?), That I understood what sensual massage is really all about.
The style of touch that I have adopted since then is something I call no-massage, because it looks like a massage, but it really isn’t. It is a sensual connection and a pleasure system, and the fact that some movements can resemble a massage is actually a mere coincidence.
Most women have never been touched in this way and the response their bodies generate can be impressive. Many women told me that they never knew their bodies can react this way; they didn’t think they had it in them.
In the following paragraphs I will try to explain my philosophy of touch and offer some practical advice on how to do it. Don’t worry if it seems a bit esoteric or abstract at first. My goal is to show you the right mindset first and only then turn it into a practical tool for pleasure.
The rules of no massage
There are four main differences that distinguish no-massage from any massage you’ve encountered before:
Rule No. No-massage # 1: no body parts
Massage tends to dictate how to properly work each part of the body and which parts of the body to use for each stroke.
In non-massage, there is no division between good parts of the body vs. bad body parts. No body parts to bore you vs. parts of the body that you really want to touch. There are no parts of the body that are appropriate vs. body parts to avoid.
There is one magnificent full body in front of you, and you touch everything without discrimination. The knee is as attractive as the neck and the nipple is as fitting as the shoulder.
Everything is amazing and everything is erogenous.
Rule No. No massage # 2: no roles
Massage tends to define the roles of giver and receiver: one person aims to provide pleasure to another and the other does nothing.
In non-massage, there is no division between the person who gives pleasure and the person who receives it. You both do it to fully enjoy your bodies, and therefore you must enjoy it together, simultaneously, without having to take turns.
This also means that the “no parts of the body” rule applies to both: one body is used to touch another body and provide pleasure to both. Hair touches skin, skin touches hair, warm breath glides over wet skin … all is well.
Members can forget their “roles” and simply enjoy every pleasure that the moment brings. They form a pleasure system, an energy center and a mind during the session.
No massage rule # 3: no skin
Silent water runs deep. If you like to touch the skin, you will get to the skin; If your goal is to massage the muscle enclosed by the skin, you will hit the muscle.
But if you want to get to the soul, your touch must be much, much more subtle than that. You need to barely feel the surface, get closer but not quite, and get closer slowly, gently, a little more … the softer your touch, the deeper it will penetrate, until your partner feels that the skin and muscles are not ‘even there, his touch penetrates through all the layers and goes straight to your core.
A truly deep touch can create nerve sensations that have nothing to do with skin or muscles; They are not close to the surface, but you can still reach them with enough smoothness and intention. Imagine that your hand (or anything else for that matter) can dissolve and go through objects and reach them. You will feel it.
PS: This may be obvious, but it is worth mentioning anyway: a layer that cannot penetrate is the fabric, so it is always better to massage the person and not their clothes. Ideally, both of you should be completely naked; anything else can be pleasant, but not so profound.
No massage rule n. 4: no time
Massage tends to have a start time and an end time, several stages, and a relatively uniform amount of time devoted to each part of the body.
In non-massage we already know that there are no parts of the body, but I would also like to suggest that time does not matter. You start when you feel like touching yourself and end when you feel like moving on to something else. Between these two points, you do everything as slow as possible, since there is no set amount of actions that you must complete. As a general rule of thumb, whatever your intuition tells you, do it four times slower and four times smoother.
There is no goal to aspire to and no goal to achieve. Both partners simply do what they want to do at any given moment and observe their feelings. Imagine looking at the point of contact between the two bodies from the inside, looking up from under the skin; feel the touch of a body penetrating deep into another body, feel the heat at the point of contact.
That’s all about it.
How to do it
There really is no “right” way to touch another person, but my experience has taught me that gentle, slow, and intentional touch attracts the vast majority of women.
Sometimes I tell them what I’m doing and why I’m doing it that way, and sometimes I don’t, I just close my own eyes and play. It really depends on the comfort level of the woman.
I start with my hands until I feel comfortable enough, then I keep using my forearms, hair, breath, chest, and other parts. I always touch his body at several points at the same time (for example, two hands, one hand and forearm, one hand and hair, etc.), and I move with very slow, very smooth and continuous movements, trying to turn all the movement in ONE. long stroke, and not a sequence of separate strokes.
Although the rule says there are no parts of the body, realistically, if the woman is not used to the way you touch her, it is better to do it slowly and not do anything that will make her doubt or self-conscious from the start.
Go slow and gradually work your way to the bolder areas, with light touches at first. For example, before placing your whole hand on your chest, first slide one finger up the side or underneath, on your way from your shoulder to your hip; then a few seconds later, slide two fingers over the surface, etc; each time it will be a little more daring than the last, so your subconscious mind will not feel that what happened was unusually inappropriate.
Once you’ve “gained access” to your entire body, it becomes especially crucial to forget your own preferences and avoid spending all your time near your sexual organs. Every time you generate some “heat” in these standard erogenous zones, slowly slide it to other areas of your body.
This trick will accomplish several things:
1. Everyone likes their sex organs, but you show appreciation for their entire body. That makes her feel special and it makes you special for cultivating this feeling.
2. The heat it generates does not disappear and does not stay in one place. Alternating between more and less erogenous zones will move the sensation throughout your body and make your entire body erogenous. Soon you will hear sounds of pleasure even when you touch her hip or elbow, parts that she has definitely never considered erogenous before.
3. Help dissolve her attention and let her really feel your touch. If you only touch the standard points, his mind may wander and start thinking of irrelevant things like “do I look okay?” or “Am I making the sounds he expects me to make?” When you move sensations through a greater variety of areas, and especially through areas where he has never experienced them before, it overwhelms his senses and draws his attention away from the thoughts and back to his body and its sensations.
If you follow these guidelines and experiment with every chance you get, this style of playing will soon become very natural, and the positive feedback you receive will most likely be overwhelming.
Nobody else keys like that. It is now our professional secret.