Relationships from the karmic perspective: to be or not to be
Where to start? Karma is a very broad subject and there are literally hundreds of thousands of interpretations of what it is and how it affects us. I don’t have space to get philosophical in this article, my goal is to describe the astrological concepts of relationships. In its simplest terms, the Eastern concept of Karma is what is called the Law of Cause and Effect in Western society. For me life is not a series of random and unconnected moments; life is more like a continuum, with each experience following a natural sequence. Or… we can be a confused human trying to decipher their experiences. I have managed to experience both awareness and unawareness throughout my life. I’m sure you have too.
Anything you participate in or set in motion through your personal actions will have natural results that definitely belong to you, even when you don’t want to own them. You can take direct action, refuse to participate, try to ignore, and the list goes on. All of these possibilities and more set in motion something that belongs exclusively to you, whether you know it or not. Life doesn’t require you to be aware or accepting, it just needs you to be available. Know now that the common sequence is initiation, process and results, consciously or unconsciously, now or in another life, so that you don’t always connect the results with the cause. Think of life as a circle that is actually a sine wave in experience. Sometimes you’re at the top of that curve and sometimes you’re at the bottom. Eastern philosophy sees humanity in the wheel of life, condemned to repeat experiences at the same level until enlightenment removes it from the wheel. Western philosophy is not comfortable with pure destiny, so free will must enter the picture. We have some popular phrases that illustrate this concept.
For every action, there is an opposite but equal reaction.
What you sow, so you will reap.
What goes around comes around.
· Sometimes you get the bear; sometimes the bear catches you.
Karma is a description of the process of experience. Somehow we set experience in motion and those experiences produce results. Sometimes the answer comes quickly. At other times, long periods of time obscure the cause of the effect and we become bewildered and sometimes victimized.
Another person walks in (and you were having a lot of fun alone). You have your karma and they have their karma and you’ve both decided to share, hopefully 50/50 or at least fairly, but usually with a few surprises. You haven’t figured out your own karma and now you have two karma to work out, your own and the karma of a virtual stranger. Good luck. How do we see karma in a relationship? What are the signals? Even if you know what the signs are, will you understand what they mean? Are they awake and aware enough to make this a positive experience?
enter astrology At a rudimentary level, we can look at the nodal connections between graphs to determine if there are past life connections at play. In Western astrology, if the connection is tied directly to the South Node, that indicates a link from the past. If the connection is more direct to the north node, that indicates a link to the future. Did you notice that Eastern astrology has quite different definitions for Rahu and Ketu (the nodes)? Since the nodes are paired, there will naturally be aspects at both nodes, so pick the strongest aspect to start with, but look at the potential of both positions. The South Node represents karmic relationships that are rooted in the past, the harvest part of the life cycle. The north node represents your new direction or the development or sowing of new karma. It is very valuable to know if you are attracted to a person because of your largely unconscious past associations or if you have experiences to share in a now-to-future framework.
Not all relationships are comfortable and that is true for those with karmic overtones. For that, you need to look at the tension aspects of your nodes. Sometimes you meet a person and an instant, irrational but powerful dislike arises and can interfere with relationship building or can serve as a warning. Sometimes you meet a person you feel like you’ve known forever even though you just met them. Look at the beneficial aspects. If you meet a person whose nodes are the exact opposite of yours, you can yell “Bingo!” This shows that you have been together in the past and that you also have experience to do together in this present and future time frame. Maybe it’s an unfinished work, maybe it’s a contemporary work, but the past of one graphic should support the other as it progresses through the experience.
For me, the hardest thing we humans do is successfully interact. The underlying concept is that you take two people, put them in a room, close the door and demand that they successfully interact at all times, 24/7 until death do them part. That’s not remotely realistic. We should learn from each other and hopefully grow and evolve within any relationship. If we are not part of each other’s growth, there is no real reason to stay in a failed relationship. It is not your “karma” to stay in a bad situation, with no possibility of growth. Karma can be misunderstood to mean just that. They should both be growing or they should change experience. If for some reason you must stay together, try to put it on a positive footing for both of your sakes. You are here to grow and become, not to stagnate and regress. That is both your responsibility and your choice. Don’t blame karma!
Next, astrologically, I would look at the synastry between the cards. Place the two wheels next to each other and look at the overall connections. Remember that one will be the receiver and the other the activator in each pairing. Once you’ve worked on that pairing, reverse the graphs and do the same procedure for the second person. Having one as a trigger while the other receives keeps the reading clear and simple, but it’s only half the sine wave. Using the same information reverses the activator and the receiver. That will illustrate the other half of the related sine wave. Once you have the general conditions between the participants, look specifically at the outer planets to determine success, failure, and potential karma, the difference between the beneficial or malefic aspects of the synastry.
Saturn can bring responsibility, structure, duration and tenacity or it can bring obstacles, imprisonment and depression. Choose wisely.
Uranus can bring charisma, magic, excitement, but you may not stick around long enough to enjoy it. Uranus will not accept limits, rules or an unforgiving compromise. If he can stay relaxed and just enjoy the ride, not demanding what Uranus can’t and won’t deliver, the relationship can continue.
· Pluto can bring psychological depth to any relationship on many levels, but it can also bring confusion, power and control issues, manipulation, obsession. Choose your poison.
· Ah… now comes Neptune. Here comes imagination, creativity, inspiration, sympathy, spirituality, and all those beautiful descriptions of unconditional love. But since every front has a reverse, we must look to the other side of Neptune to see the parts we don’t want to know about, such as deception, illusion, deception, and disappointment.
In a workshop long ago, astrologer Carol Rushman taught that true spiritual partnership between two people is illustrated by strong, positive connections between Venus and Neptune between the charts. These are the people who are so in tune that they know what others are thinking, they can finish each other’s sentences, they can drive a long time without speaking and still feel comfortable with each other. That is true magic, when two souls are in harmony that transcends physical limitations. It seems to me that it would be the perfect opportunity to work on that shared karma that is formed when two people enter into a relationship.
How do you get the best out of a relationship while working on the karmic patterns between the two of you? Talk about it, plan it, work the plan, create benign and nonjudgmental signs to get through the bad times that come into every life. Encourage each other, support each other, commit to each other’s personal growth in every way possible, respect, honor and promote the common good and the good of each individual. It’s a tall order, but if you’re committed to overcoming karma and maintaining a good relationship, you can do it. If you can!